It was a happy moment

This is what I wrote in my journal today. I thought I’d share it; along with a couple of other reflections:

“This is a happy moment. I’m sitting by the side of the road eating a roll I’ve made from things that I bought this morning. There is a strong wind in my face and sun on my back and I’m watching cars fly by. There are mountains in the distance.

(pause)

At least it was a happy moment before I decide to write it down. Haha, that’s a lie. I’m still happy. I enjoy writing, and I enjoy the voice inside my-self that likes to narrate an experience, that likes to tell a story, that wants to share.

(pause)

This definitely is happiness – I’ve found it. It lives inside of me and it is about feeling free, being present, and grateful for everything that has led up to the moment I am now in.

(pause)

And then I start to worry that this is the kind of happiness a person experiences just before they die.

(I chuckle)

The emotions – they shift, they turn, they twist, they tease – and I just watch”

By the side of the road
This is something like what I saw. I’m not really one for taking photos as I can never capture moments in a way that I experienced them. I suppose everything that happened before is needed, and then the emotions too, and how does one capture any of that. I’d like to think I’m better with words.

Today was a harmonious day in my life. There I was cutting through the countryside on my bike in a land I don’t know so well. Such simplicity. I’ve been holding a lot of tension for the last weeks, months, all my life even, and it is only now that the tension has been released that I can truly see it. Of course it’ll probably come back, but then so will the joy, the happiness, the awareness.

A longer post will come soon – probably called something like “Happiness in Spain” and will be less personal. Thank you for hearing me on this one.

The rolling road 1
The rolling road

3 comments

  1. Nice to hear all is good with you,looking at them Blue skies,damm cold here and wet,just listening to the rain on the Motorhome roof,well par for the course November the 5th,early evening,just as people want to let their fireworks off,,keep pedalling,and enjoy my boy xxx

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Ehi Christopher! I’m missing you. “the happiness someone experience before to die”. You know, maybe what you were is dying. in front of you you have got the new scary unknown land of your new self, and new life. my enthusiasm is with you! both in the tension, and in the happiness. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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